I'm a mammal!

So we've had, what, two-and-a-bit days of continued sunshine and warmth so far?

Far too much. So far as I'm concerned, you may keep it. I am a man who craves the crisp, snapping cold of an early winter morning, possibly the dank coolness of a damp autumn evening. Even a drizzly June afternoon, grey and miserable and heavy with the disappointment of a summer lost, is preferable to this sapping heat and close, oppressive humidity. 

See, nobody ever got sunburn sat inside the pub in front of a log fire, did they? I need the cold, the ice and snow (or more accurately the gusting wind and hammering rain) and a good, long autumn-winter-spring; makes me feel a whole lot more human than this sunshine and heat. Ugh.

Bill Hicks had it bang on the money - why all the clamouring and love for "good weather"? (and why, indeed, should continued clear skies, sunshine and heat be seen in a more positive light than any other weather combination?) We are humans, we're perfectly capable of altering our environment to reflect our needs (which is why you'll possibly find me inside the pub - or at least, in the shade of a beer umbrella in the garden - in the summertime, and occasionally with my head in the freezer when I'm in the kitchen busily cooking).

There always seems to me to be something a little amiss, an element of the whiny, impatient spoiled toddler, with someone who keeps banging on about how little of the summer there's been this year, or whatever. Nothing to stop them from turning a light on, maybe flicking on a heater or something to cut through the cold, is there? Or, indeed, from getting on a plane and buggering off to Spain or wherever, if the sunshine's really that important to them.

"What are you, a fucking lizard?"